Lately I have been thinking about forgiveness, and the healing that comes with it, or, at least, the healing that should come.
A friend and I had a real heart to heart about this recently, and for whatever reason, it has really stuck out in my head.
And, today, while driving through the beautiful foggy countryside, I got to thinking about it again. Thanks to "The Postal Service," a band that I like to listen to, the lyrics "you pull out the stitches before it is healed," or something like that, struck a loud chord within me.
The truth is, some people do not want it to be healed. They pick and pick at the stitches, until they are all pulled out, and the wound is open and possibly even rawer than before. Like the stitches, some people choose to take forgiveness and healing, and throw it out the door.
They like the raw.
They like the pain.
They like the ability to say "Look what you've done to me!"
Other people, desperately want to be healed. They take their wounds to the doctor, to be stitched up, and they have resolved to just let the stitches sit. For it all to heal.
And then, they look down, and they notice that the stitches aren't right. They are a mess. The doctor didn't take his time, and didn't do his best, and now, even though you wanted the pain to end, it's possible it won't heal!
In the same way, some people, who have been hurt or wronged, simply want to forgive and forget. Yes, independent of someone's regret, with God's help, we should be able to forgive and move on. Sometimes however, you just know, that if you could only get that person to apologize, to explain, to lead you down that road to forgiveness, it will be a much quicker process. But, the person who did the harm has to fix it correctly. Sometimes, after an apology, you'll look back and think "That didn't fix it! I still hurt! He did it all wrong!" And the pain is almost unbearable.
I'm learning that, with some things in my life, you may never get those "perfect stitches," no matter how desperately you wanted them. You might just have to hold the would closed yourself, and pray that God can work a miracle. Sometimes those "doctors," don't care about their mistakes, they can't or they won't fix them.
And sometimes, that is just how it is.
Did this make sense at all?