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Tuesday, January 10, 2017

The Witching Hour

The witching hour doesn't end once they start school, in case you didn't know that.
It just looks different. And sounds different.

There isn't as much crying and gnashing of teeth (though there is some,) but there is an unusually high amount of questions that you just don't have the brain power to answer.

  • Mommy, what would happen if all of the cars just melted onto the road?
  • Mommy, what happens if all of your eyelashes just fell out?
  • Mommy, why would someone tell me that they were good at karate and they weren't? 
  • Mommy, can I say "Oh shucks?" Because I can't say "Oh my God" and you don't really like it if I say "Oh my goodness." So is "Oh, shucks," okay? Like if I said "Oh, shucks, Willamena, (True Story,) but I don't think I can sell you my ice cream today?
I don't know kid. 
I just don't. 

What I do know is that momma wants to watch Fixer Upper and I'm weighing the benefits of watching it over the frustration over not being able to hear over all of the questions!
(The frustration always wins. Only an occasional Pioneer Woman appears on our TV when the kids are awake since they are entranced with Ree and all of her magical abilities.)


Back to the big kid witching hour:

There is a need to be snuggled RIGHT when you have started chopping the onions. And a cuddle shall not be denied.

There is a realization that you didn't get to the tasks you wanted to and a very real possibility that your husband will walk into your home with crumbs on the floor, dinner uncooked, and laundry piled high. If that was just it and the kids were happy I'd say I still had a good day, but no. There are days when all of that stuff is a mess AND the kids are screaming like banshees with crocodile tears rolling down their faces the moment he steps over the threshold.

There is a very good chance that on child will beg to have "alone time," AKA: let me have all of the toys that I want to herself in the name of recharge time, but the moment that the second child is doing anything interesting in the other room she is suddenly charged up, rested, and ready to be "by herself," in the room where her sister was just hanging out.

*Eye Roll*

I'm not saying big kid witching hour is harder or easier than infant witching hour. Just different. Painstakingly different.

So hear me when I say that our routine after school is simple.
1.) Walk in the door.
2.) Drop all of the jackets and bags in one pile.
3.) Herd many small children to the family room where you spread a blanket on the floor.
4.) Throw snacks at them and turn on one "educational," show.
5.) Get you act together as much as possible in the next 23 minutes. Because that's how much TV they can watch with you feeling guilt free.

It's only 2 hours until bedtime after all!